Listen, all I want is a lady who is non-religious, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t smoke, no history of serious mental illness(i.e. wouldn’t enjoy killing me), likes to be physically active, eats fairly healthy but isn’t picky, has had a steady full-time job at some point, listens to npr, enjoys classical music, enjoys every genre of music(every genre of music… EVERY genre of music), if she doesn’t like a band she actually has a reason aside from “they suck”, is well-read and up on current events, has an informed opinion on current events, hates cats(yea), loves dogs, doesn’t have domineering parents who hate me for no valid reason(or does and doesn’t care), likes comic books, likes comic book movies, likes any movie, can beat me in mariokart(i’m kidding… that’s impossible), is an optimist, knows how to talk trash/is a sarcastic asshole, has an overactive imagination, has an ‘inappropriate’ sense of humor, won’t get offended or sick to the stomach easily, admits that sushi is just ‘okay’ and not amazing, doesn’t need to hold my hand when we’re out in public, and can teach me or tell me things that I don’t know.

I really don’t think that’s too much to ask for in a girl/woman/lady.

Until I meet that person I’ll just keep living my life and not dwell on the fact that I’m single. Listen people, drop the “Forever Alone” shtick. It’s tired. Be happy you aren’t settling for something adequate every two months.